is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
