I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize