you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
