If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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