i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize