My hand turned me down
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
