I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
