i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
