im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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