: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
