I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Randomize