3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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