Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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