My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
