then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
