he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
