I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
