she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
