I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
