He told me they were just razor bumps!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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