Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
