Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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