I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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