You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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