Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize