Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
