Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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