Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
