Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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