Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
im holly from the hills drunk
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize