so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
