Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
