You just made me feel so damn special
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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