Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just high enough for therapy.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
