i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
