This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
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