butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
