I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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