I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
