Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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