at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
