i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
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