i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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