One girl and one boy is just not enough.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
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