im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
