We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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