i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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