Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
