if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
NoShamevember. You game?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
