he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
