So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
