Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
