that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
