NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
