I think i sorta joined a cult last night
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
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Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
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Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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