Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
