You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
