Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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