So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
