this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
this hospital has no fireball
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
